In my weakness...

He is strong.  

2 Corinthians 12:9-11  (NIV)

⁹ But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Galatians 6:9 (NIV)

⁹ Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Isaiah 41:10  (NIV)

¹⁰ So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Romans 5:2-4 (NIV)

² through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we^[a] boast in the hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only so, but we^[b] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope.

  

Maternity Halloween Costume Idea: Fortune Teller & Crystal Ball

Last year I had SO much fun incorporating my baby bump into my Halloween costume! 

I thought of this Fortune Teller Halloween costume idea, (embarrassingly enough) found ALL but one of the pieces for this costume in my closet! The one thing I bought was this belly paint, a half hour before our party my husband went to work painting on my "crystal ball" (#glamsquad) and then I covered it with glitter...totally MAGICAL!  

This is by far my favorite costume that I have EVER worn, ever.  Being pregnant is such a miracle and although having my belly LOUD and OUT is so different for how conservatively I typically dress, I just had too much fun with this idea and love that I got to include my big 'ol baby bump! 

If you're rocking the bump when Halloween rolls around, I hope you take the opportunity to find a creative way to celebrate your little miracle!  Also, share pics if you use this idea or have other ideas, I would love, love, LOVE to see them!

Happy Halloween! 
~D&H

Five Lessons Learned About Elder Care

A while back I had read somewhere about the sandwich generation, those of us who are raising kids while taking care of aging parents.  It is a uniquely challenging group to be a part of and if you are new to this group - welcome, grab some coffee...you're going to need it!  

Below is a list of five lessons we have learned about elder care while taking care of my mother-in-law.    

___________  

     
1. Recognize the tug-of-war between their independence & safety. 
Most issues boil down to this simple (but not easy) battle. They want independence, you want them to be safe.  

Often just recognizing the battle you are dealing with makes it easier to navigate.  

2. Ask people that have done it. 
We are lucky to have several older friends who have or are caring for an aging relative.  Bouncing our questions and concerns off of them, everything from Medicare questions to tactics for dealing with memory issues, we have learned the most from people that have been through it.    

3. Delegate.
When the meals, appointment scheduling and transportation, basic necessities & social calendar rely on you, it can be daunting.  

We delegate in two ways, the first is just between me and my husband.  He is great with finances so he handles everything related to money while I handle the other tasks.  The second way we delegate is using hired services.  Below are a few notes on each.  

• Daily needs:  Prior to moving her up here we used the Visiting Angels to help take care of her daily needs, the cost was covered by a long-term health care insurance that she had, which for her ended up being well worth the cost of the insurance.  The angel turnover was very high at Visiting Angels, so we found that we had to make clear task lists for each day they were at the house and maintain good communication with the local office.  Although she lived with us for a while, she now lives on her own in a senior living apartment where they handle meals, laundry and an active social calendar, this change has been great for her (and me).  
• Transportation: Ride sharing services for the elderly have been the most cost effective way to go (literally) and some even provide door-to-door service (i.e. walk them into the doctor's office).  Some companies allow you to maintain a tab that can be paid monthly, other companies require cash on the spot.
• Financial:  My husband manages her finances due to her memory issues, he pays all of her bills and she uses a debit card that he can transfer money to (through the app on his phone) for any purchases she needs to make.  This gives all of us peace that her bills are paid, gives her the freedom to buy the extra things she wants while still knowing her finances are secure (sounds a little like the independence vs safety battle eh?).
• Know People, Make Sure They Know You:  Whether it is the pharmacist or the front desk at a doctor's office, it will come in handy to have rapport with the gatekeeper's for your loved one's health and safety.                                                                                                                                                 

4. Set boundaries by setting and sticking to a schedule.
We set aside a specific day for organizing her medicine and bringing over items she wanted/needed throughout the week.  We also have specific days where we do things as a family; this manages expectations & provides consistency (for the kiddos & grandparents).   

5. Have grace.
In a perfect world this wouldn't happen, or if it did there would be unlimited time, knowledge and resources to handle each situation as it arises.  Having grace towards your spouse, your aging family member and even yourself is crucial to not losing your mind.  

Everyone handles loss (yes, this is a form of loss) differently, so be gracious even when it isn't easy.
 ___________   

I sincerely hope this list is helpful for you.  

Even on the worst days, we are all just doing our best. 
D&H 

On Not Treating Kids Like A Party Trick

[Estimated Blog Post Reading Time ~4 Minutes]

So your kid has this ADORABLE thing that they do. You're around your family or friends and ask your kid to do it.  They don't want to do it. You bribe them. You bribe them a little more. They finally do it. "Awwww"s all around. Adorable right? Right?

I'm thinking no.

Relationship breeds intimacy. Your kid does that adorable thing because they spend time with you; they are comfortable with you so their personality and sense of humor show up organically. 

It may come from a place of pride to "show off" what your kid knows or can do, but it is important to think about how those moments can make them feel.  Imagine how a child feels around people they do not know, being demanded of to perform - in that instant, they are being treated like an object instead of being treated like a person.  This is not the model of respect that they need to see from us.  I often think of this quote: 

They may forget what you said — but they will never forget how you made them feel.

—Carl W. Buehner

We teach our kids how to treat others, and it begins by us modeling that behavior in how we treat them.  

How do you feel when your boss treats you like a show dog and wants you to jump, or sit or stay?   If you don’t appreciate being put on display in that way, why would you do that to your kid?  If your kid is not putting their talent out there, it should make you think twice before you do it for them.    

Don't steamroll your kid to indulge your pride. 

I want my kids to be independent, and astute enough to figure out who they can trust and who they can be themselves around.  So I do not ask them to show off because doing so takes away the exact opportunities that they need to develop those abilities. 

I think my kids are awesome.  I want everyone to know how awesome they are.  When they feel comfortable, they can show the world just how awesome they really are.  Until then, it is just fine for it to be between us.  They'll know that mom can be trusted to make them feel safe. 

Likewise, I've started not to care if they don't want to smile or pose for a made-up moment to capture on camera.  When they spend time with us, friends or family there will be plenty of candid moments of them and I do not want to get hung up on getting the "perfect" photo by bribing them or anything like that.  

Who is a perfectly posed photo of my kid for anyway? 

If the photo is for me, I do not want to look at the photo and think of the lollipop bribe that I had to give to get them to smile.  I want to remember that my kids were living in the moment and just being kids - innocent, wild, curious and full of joy.  If the photo is for others (i.e. social media), I definitely need to reevaluate my priorities.  

It is not my job to create good photos, it is my job to create good people.             

Maybe she was smiling here, who knows. 

So they may not show off what they know, and they might not smile perfectly in every photo and you know what, that is just fine by me.  

The joy of knowing who they are and what they are capable of will be seen without prompting by people who spend time with them.

Bottom line: 

I care more about my kids than what people think about my kids. 

Maybe I'll feel differently about this later, but for now, this is what I have been chewing on,
D&H   

P.S. I value teaching kids manners, including the good breeding to be able to introduce themselves and converse with anyone, but I think that is a separate issue.

DIY Dresser Makeover: Tricks with Chalk Paint & Wood Trim

We had fun turning this chest into a sweet little dresser for our toddler.

 Before

After

To give the chest more of a country look, we found a wood bead trim similar to this one and these accent moulds.  D added the trim around the doors and mouldings to the top and bottom.

 

 Adding the Moulding

Initially I painted the mouldings black, then I used leftover paint from her room to create the chalk paint for the inside and outside of the dresser by mixing a 3-1-1 ratio of paint, water and Plaster of Paris.  Then I gently sanded the edges of the legs, corners and mouldings so the dresser didn't look brand new.  I then used Minwax Finishing Wax to finish it off.

I added baskets to help her keep her clothes organized and it is just like having little drawers in there. 

This chest is special to me because it was given to me by my grandmother.  As an artist with a VERY particular sense of style, I am sure she would have opinions on what we did to this chest, but beyond a doubt she would absolutely LOVE that it is in her great-granddaughter's room getting used every day.

~D&H

Easy Organization for Frozen Breastmilk

After building up a breastmilk stash I found that this was the easiest way for me to keep it organized in the freezer. 

What you'll need:

• Breastmilk storage bags
• I've tried a few different bags, these are my favorite because the tops do not tear when you open them and I have never had any leakage issues with them. 
•  Sterilite Storage Trays
• Check your local dollar store for these trays, I bought ~6inch trays and ~12 inch trays.
• Storage Guidelines
• KellyMom is THE resource on all things breastfeeding.  

What to do:
 
1) Label the bags with the date and the amount of milk.

2) Lay the bag in a 6 inch tray in the freezer, this will ensure the milk freezes flat which makes it so much easier to store.

3) The easiest way for me to keep it organized is to use the 12 inch tray to "file" the bags by laying them on their side, or you can use the smaller bins and stand the bags upright.  Just add the newest frozen bags to the back.

Shout out to all of you mommas out there, it isn't always easy but it is so worth it! 
~D&H

Sick Kid Mode: Routines & Helpful Products for When Kids Are Sickies

For prevention:

Look, we all know the sicky season is coming.  Good habits now will payoff big...at least that is what I am telling myself.  Lysol Wipes are a must. I try to wipe down the bathrooms with these at least a few times a week.  I also use them on the TV remote, crib, chair backs, light switches, phones, fridge handles, cabinet handles and ALL doorknobs. 

For instant relief:

The steamy bathroom
This is my number one remedy and probably the only one that the kids don't mind at all.  The kids don't even need to be the ones in the shower, I got my kids dressed in the bathroom just so the steam could help loosen up the gook in their noses. Gross, yes. Effective, YES. 

Aspirator (from the hospital) 
Drug store aspirators we've had just don't work as well, but the one from the hospital is legit.  I've heard some people say things like "ew, if you open one of those aspirators they are DISGUSTING inside, that's why I don't use it anymore" and I am just wondering if I can buy some of their time because clearly they are using it wrong. Why would you open it?  Why were you surprised it was disgusting?  OF COURSE IT IS DISGUSTING!  The ENTIRE idea is for all of my kid's snot to be out of their nose and into this little bulb thingy, so I would be more disappointed if it wasn't gross in there. Anyway.  Another aside: I am not a fan of the nose frida. I know some people that swear by it but really, I am trying to be like a navy seal with the snot sucking situation, I need to be quiet, quick and effective. Setting up a changing table surgery center with the nose frida cord, vacuum, filter gizmo just has never worked for me.  The kids see it, hate it and fight back. Nah uh.  That is a lot of writing for a snot sucker, but you know what, I've got opinions. 

Baby bottle medicine dispenser
I can't say enough for this little product, it is genius.  MUST. HAVE. 

Sympathy
Sometimes I keep the bathroom light dim, light a eucalyptus candle and play spa music during bath time.  Other times I give my big kid a popsicle during bath time and afterwards let her cuddle with us on the couch instead of story time before bed.  

Give kids comfort in more ways than just pain or congestion relief. 

Saline spray drops  
These are for nasal congestion and are kid hated, but they actually work and I find myself keeping the spray in the diaper bag all the time. 

Carseat
One of the best times to get after your kid's nasal congestion without worrying about them squirming out of your arms is when they are safely in their carseat.  You can see what you are doing and hopefully make it as quick as possible. 

For night time:
Cool mist humidifier
These add moisture to the air to help relieve congestion and coughing, they are also good to have going all the time for kids that have eczema - especially in the cooler months of the year when the heater in your house is running.  

Cleaning them can be a little annoying - I just fill the base of ours with vinegar and let it soak for about 10 minutes, then take an old toothbrush to scrub it clean, then rinse with water.  For the reservoir I fill it with warm water and 1tbsp of bleach, let it sit for a few minutes, then rinse it.  

Hope that is helpful. If you have other things that you do when your kids are sick, I would LOVE to hear it. 

Stay healthy! 
D&H  



 

Mind Over Makeup

#always #everyday

Worth Listening: Lara Logan

I've realized that topics resonate more with me when they are presented by a working mother.  Like a talented pianist, there are combinations of notes that only they know to play, and which I need to hear.  

The podcast I have linked below is an interview with the fearless Lara Logan, one of the most intelligent, perceptive, articulate and genuine people I have ever heard.  

 

If you are unfamiliar with her, she is the chief foreign affairs correspondent for CBS News, and her work is not from an ivory tower, there has been no privilege of safety or respect for her.  She is grounded, thoughtful and has incredible optimism.  

A lot of people are full of crap. They say things they don't mean, or understand. They speak to situations or statistics that they heard or read. She is different, she speaks only from experience. 

She is raw data, crunched by a kick-ass computing machine then summarized like a poet.

Everyday I listen to various podcasts or lectures, some are for my work, and some are just for myself - to have the benefit of other experiences and expertise.  Regardless of how challenging and infuriating work can be, I want to keep it in the forefront of my mind that so many women around the world do not even have the opportunity to work or the ability to choose their work as I do.  It is easy to be complacent, to be so caught up in our everyday challenges that we forget the big picture.  Her work is always a reminder for me that there is so much to learn, to be thankful for and to strive for.        

If you have an hour, during your commute or even just catching up on laundry, this is absolutely worth the listen.   

Link: Interview with Lara Logan 

~D&H

Gifts

Rings and other jewels are not gifts, but apologies for gifts. The only gift is a portion of thyself. Thou must bleed for me. Therefore the poet brings his poem; the shepherd, his lamb; the farmer, corn; the miner, a gem; the sailor, coral and shells; the painter, his picture; the girl, a handkerchief of her own sewing. This is right and pleasing, for it restores society in so far to its primary basis, when a man's biography is conveyed in his gift, and every man's wealth is an index of his merit. But it is a cold, lifeless business when you go to the shops to buy me something, which does not represent your life and talent, but a goldsmith's.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

A reminder to give something of yourself today.

Give your talents. Your time. Your hands. Your full attention. Your compassion. Demand of yourself to give an unselfish gift.

"It is better to give than to receive"
~D&H

Toddler Room: Little DIYs for a Big Girl Room

The transition from a crib to a big girl bed is not easy.  We thought the adjustment may be easier if the big girl bed was awesome. 

It was not easier. 

BUT the bed is awesome. 

Bed DIY:
It took D about a weekend to build, prime and paint the bed.  We found free plans for the bed from Remodelholic's Blog.

He added these copper string lights that make it feel so magical at night during story time. 

Table DIY:
I wanted a place for her to color and work on puzzles so we found table a table at Goodwill that was a height suitable for kid chairs (~18 inches), then found an adorable set of chairs from Homegoods and went to work getting the table just right.

I sanded it then made a chalk paint that was a little lighter than the wall color by mixing a 2:1:1 ratio of wall paint, white paint and plaster of paris.  

After sanding it again to bring out just a hint of the old color I used this Minwax Finishing Paint Wax to complete it.  Cutest $11 table that I've ever seen. 
 

 

Dresser DIY: 
This chest was given to us by my late grandmother and she would probably die again if she saw what we did to it; although I know she would've loved that it is in E's room and is used everyday.

In our defense, we did love this chest, we just didn't have a functional place in our house for it.  So it lived in our garage for a little while until we needed to get E into a big girl room and inspiration (necessity) came knocking (kicking in my belly). 

We found wood trim pieces at Home Depot, D added the trim pieces and sanded it. 

I painted it with a white chalk paint on the outside and a pink on the inside.  I used storage bins to keep her clothes organized.  Since we had the paint this dresser only cost us the trim, knobs and storage bins.   

This dresser has actually been a great tool as we teach her independence; the bins make it easy for her to pick out her clothes for the day and put away her own laundry.       

Decor DIY:
Speaking of my grandmother, when E was born my grandmother's gift to her was animal sketches that she did for the nursery.  

My grandmother was the kind of artist that would sit in a coffee shop and sketch the face of patrons with an impressive acuity for capturing their demeanor.  She kept saying that animals were not her forte, but I beg to differ, she managed to give character to the sketched animals in a way that only she could.        

I had never seen my grandmother be affectionate until the moment she met E, after that I saw a side of her that I had not known before.  

 

E and I would visit her regularly until she passed and I am so thankful that we have these sketches to remind E of the love that my grandmother had for her.  

I made the floral E by hot gluing fabric flowers to a 13" wood letter from Michaels. 

We created the butterfly using shims and mixing paint colors for the different pink and purple tones. 

I use baskets on the open shelves to keep her toys organize and also separate toys she can play independently with and ones that I do not want her to have immediate access to.

 

We came across this beautiful three story dollhouse peering at us from a garage sale on our way down to the river one morning.  This one is not a DIY but it is one of my favorite finds...ever and for someone that doesn't typically do the garage sale thing, I feel like we hit the jackpot. 

We had so much fun with each of these little projects for her room and hope that each time E is in her room she feels completely surrounded by love.

~D&H